Consent

 

Consent is giving permission for sexual acts or sexual intercourse. It is your body and your right to consent/ not consent to whatever you feel comfortable with. In order to consent to sexual acts you need the freedom and ability to do so. This means that the conversation around consent needs to be one in which you feel comfortable, in which you feel in the right frame of mind, and in which you understand and can participate as much as you want.

 

Conversations regarding consent can sometimes seem intimidating, whether with a new or established partner, but they are important, and it is important that you have space in which to express the sexual practices you feel comfortable engaging in.

 

Below, we have some examples of consent conversations that people have had. These are not all perfect, and some will not be appropriate or relevant to you. They are merely examples of consent conversations that have happened. If you would like to contribute your own, get in touch!

 

Example conversations:

 

Discussing anal sex:

“So what’s your opinion on bum fun?”

“I’m not so into it, you?”

“I quite like it actually, have you ever tried it?”

“No, but if you like it, maybe we could try it on you?”

 

Discussing threesomes:

“Would you ever have a threesome?”

“Yeah, but I’d definitely want to put some rules in place.”

“Like what”

“Well, it would have to be another woman, and I’d insist on condom use.”

“Sounds like it might be interesting.”

 

Simple ways to check comfort and consent:

“Are you alright with this?”

“Do you like this?”

“What do you want me to do next?”

“Tell me what you like.”

 

 

This video shows a consent conversation that involves a written and signed contract. Consent only needs to be verbal, but in some cases, setting boundaries in this way may be appropriate for your relationship or situation.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gu6s0eGOk

 

Examples of revoking consent:

Often people don’t say ‘no’ but they’ll say ‘that hurts’, or ‘not yet’, or ‘I don’t like it’. Or it might be in their body language.

 

You can download a Workshop designed for groups to discuss issues of consent. The workshop aims to be empowering and provide a space to discuss consent, how to embed consent discussions in your sex life, and how to set boundaries that you are comfortable with. If you would like someone to deliver the workshop to your group or organisation, get in touch.

consent workshop


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