“How lucky I am to still be here”

**Trigger Warning – suicide attempts**

I have been suffering from depression and mental illness for approx 7yrs now although it only really came to be noticed in 2007 when I was being bullied at work. This has led to me having major deppressive moments and migraines frequently mainly because my head feels like it is about to explode with the lowness of my mood, my marriage broke up 3yrs ago mainly due to my illness as I could not face being with my wife and felt so low at times I felt as if I had no fight left in me, since then I have tried to commit suicide 3 times and thankfully I have failed on each occasion. I started college 3yrs ago to take my mind off thinking about my mental health and it did seem to work for the first year although over the lasat 2 years I have struggled and had numerous nervous breakdowns due to the stress levels put upon me. Through all my mental health issues and problems, I have been constantly fundraising for charitable causes raising approx £14000 over last 7yrs for various charities, I look back at think how lucky I am to still be here and how lucky I am to have what I have, I held my 40th birthday party in Feb 2012 and raised £762 for brain injury survivors by holding a comedy night on behalf of them. I am hoping this story proves that no matter how bad you feel and how little you think about yourself, there are people out there a lot worse off than you, and that you can achieve anything you want if you just work at it, get the right help and assistance, I have been at deaths door and the lowest of the low over the last few years and now I am a stand up comedian and 2 months away from obtaining my HND in hospitality management, IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN.

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